In attempting to do a better job at ‘being me’ and bringing about happiness to my life, I realize that being myself means that I have to accept my true likes and dislikes. This also means that I’ll never be the girl who can wear white and not spill on it, that I’m not the outgoing party type and that no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be able to enjoy spending an afternoon sitting idly. I enjoy reading a good book, writing short essays, and going to an occasional knit night. I’ll likely never eat meat and one of my guilty pleasures will be relating to The Big Bang Theory sitcom. This is me, in all my glory, and it kind of makes me sad.
Why? you might ask.
Because it makes me realize my limitations. At some point in life (I realize this now more than ever as a graduate student), we have to pursue a specific path that limits other options we pursue in life. We have a limited number of years in our life and to ‘be Puja’, I have to acknowledge all of the things that I am not. One of my friends put it this way, ‘You can choose what you do, but you can’t choose what you like to do.’ It doesn’t matter that I wish I were more popular, or less calculative, or less emotional. I am Puja.
This also means that I must accept others for who they are and what their journey in life is. This is something I struggle with because I like to have control over life and situations in it. In the end, the only thing I have control over is myself.
So this is my journey: Being Puja.